The last two hours have been the hardest by far. My brother and I were making raw potato pancakes and it was a huge ordeal for me mentally. Every question he asked seemed like a struggle to answer. They frustrated me as well, like I just wanted everything to work without any effort and yet just thinking about why I was doing something felt like a pretty large effort.
After making the pancakes we did another walk. Exercise seems to be the key in staving off fatigue. I've walked over 7 miles today and I will most likely do as much or more tomorrow as I believe tomorrow is supposed to be the worst of the adjustment... I'm honestly having a hard time figuring out what day it is... I mean I know that its Wednesday right now, I have my computer to tell me that but time is starting to warp in strange ways.
Even though I can put the word Wednesday to today it has no meaning. Its dark outside, it feels like night. So when I think its Wednesday I can't remember if its morning or night. I know I started this experiment on Monday but it feels like a long time ago. Time is definitely slowing down. My next nap is coming up at 4:30AM and I honestly can't wait.
I'm missing the 8 hour sleep cycle. There is something nice about days being finite. A beginning and an end... It just feels right whereas this feels really strange and loose. I hope my sleep gets better soon and I can start to feel genuinely rested. I go through waves where I feel ok like right before I started writing this, but now that I'm in the midst of it the fatigue feels very strong and I really want my nap to get here so I can just check out for a few minutes. It is honestly hard to be awake so often...
I wonder how much longer it will take to adjust and start the upward ascent to productivity. I have a hard time feeling like a zombie. I guess I should try to wait longer till I post again but at the same time maybe its just better to post when it feels natural like now. ooh sleep. mmm such a luxury.
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