I know first impressions are supposed to be everything but thats not how art is for an artist... at least thats not how it is for me... See, I genuinely love a lot of my work when I first create it. Those first impressions give me a sense of accomplishment. Like I've done something worth while... Its only over time that I learn to loathe the things I once loved and thats how this one is... It just doesn't work for me anymore... The colors are random and chaotic. Accidental almost... I mean sure they're bolder up front and fade in the distance but thats about all that makes sense in this picture...
Its large and I like that about it, but when you start to hate something you don't want it to be large and in your face, you want it to fade into obscurity. I keep thinking I might just destroy this one and work back into it... Maybe I should just leave it as lots of people seem to like it... I recently framed it and it looks nice but there is that nagging feeling whenever I see it... like I'm secretly embarrassing myself... like if anyone who knows anything about art looks at it they'll think I'm a fraud for passing this off as something beautiful.
Maybe I'm just having a bad day, feeling the crazy creep up into me. Florence is waiting in the living room to be finished and I'm worried I'm just going to fuck it all up haha. Thats what is so great, I keep telling people you can't fuck up, you just keep working through it and yet here I am paralyzed by a sense of doubt. I just have to keep working through it. Enjoy the process.
