How did we get here...?

This is what is starting to happen to my cities... They're falling apart... I need to finish this painting. I got frames the other day so I need to stop skiing and get back to work. I get so scatter brained when it comes to art. I'll be working and get an idea and suddenly I'm starting a new painting so I can really get into the idea and I never seem to go back... its always this forward drive to something... I don't even know what I'm trying to do anymore. I built this huge canvas the other day, too big to even get into my car... I mean what the fuck was I thinking?

I just... I can't seem to stop following this fucking idea. I started doing a portrait in blocks the other day. Its fucking weird as hell and yet I love it. I am going to do the same thing in oils soon and I think its going to be weird as hell but I'm excited about it. There is this weird flow that I get into where ideas just stack upon each other and I don't know...

The pictures just seem to be getting weirder and weirder... My brother and I were looking at an oil painting I have been working on and we realized that I'm working towards minimalism or something... Its really weird... The cities are going to start disappearing completely I'm afraid... Maybe thats a good thing... I guess I just enjoyed them but I can see why my art is moving into a new direction.

I honestly never thought I'd be an abstract painter... Its really weird being excited about things that most people probably never think about in their lives. I mean how many people are in search of the perfect color, or the right shapes or perspectives? How many people worry about making something look too clean? Or how many people build something up and then get excited about fucking it all up just to see what happens? I keep staring at this oil painting I'm working on because I have to go back into it and redo a bunch of it. I don't know why but I'd almost rather just paint over the entire thing... I know I need to stick with it... its really close to being done and I think it will be pretty fantastic when its finished. It has some really great parts... I think if I get the depth right on the parts that are bugging me it will be a really great painting.